This time of year, women go crazy for a couple of weeks or three, as they put all their energy into securing the best deals for Christmas. I’ve personally witnessed grown women get into hair-pulling, knock-down, arm-slinging fights in the narrow aisles of department stores.
Females, with hair that looks a cross between slept on and cat fight, elbows plowing anything non-essential, barge through entire sections with a 50% off sale. I’m sorry ladies, I am confessing for all of us, we can’t leave a store with a clearance sign that says 70 % off without going through that rack twice.
When we find something that appears worth the sale price of $2.99, we will go through our entire list (the one we keep in our heads) of friends and relatives to find someone who can wear a size zero. Hey, it’s a name-brand blouse. If the sale is on designer clothes or shoes and we find something that was regularly worth (In who’s opinion?) $80, on sale for $5, we will consider holding it until our chubby niece loses enough weight to squeeze into it.
Deciding what gift goes to which person on our list every Christmas is a challenging job, but finding the money in our budgets to pay for all the gifts is a horse of a different color. Some women try to buy gifts through the year so they can relax during the holidays. Other women lack the desire or ability to do this and find themselves in need of the biggest bargains on Black Friday.
Personally, I think stores get a kick out of forcing a large number of women to fight over the 15 in-stock Barbies dressed in the latest, on sale for $20, but only for one hour. This hour is usually the hour before dawn or between 10-11 a.m. No rain checks are allowed on these sale items, making them infinitely more valuable.
Some women enjoy this ritual every Holiday season. I don’t. I do buy all year long and fill my closet with birthday and Christmas presents for my family. Of course, I track down every bargain clearance available.
I use my coupons and ad matches, watch for store sales and stock up on expensive shampoos I manage to purchase for next to nothing. I’ve done so well on my bargain quests that I really don’t have to buy shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, disposable razors, hand soap, lotion or mouthwash for the next 30 years. Hey, they were on sale. What was I suppose to do?
The good news is that I caught my addiction in time to turn my life around. There may be no hope for those wild-eyed banshees hell-bent on getting a flat-screen, high definition television for their three-years-old sons this Christmas. Never mind that it cost $5 to make the regular price before it went on sale was increased from $150 to $225 so the sale would look more appealing at $175.
Face it ladies, the stores have us figured out. We can’t help ourselves. We need to band together and lend our strength to a fellow mom on a mission to get the best prices on Christmas gifts this year. We can’t make it alone. Corporation is stacked against us. Maybe it is time to get back to nature’s gifts. Did you know that gumbo fíle was dried sassafras leaves? That stuff sells for a bundle in stores.
By picking the wild fruits of the land all around us, we can capture the ultimate gift – the one that cost nothing but a little time and effort. God bless and watch your rear this holiday season.